Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Off for a while...


Sunrise, my favourite time of day!


Great place and I'll miss not going this year.
Have a beautiful summer!




Cherish the moments with your families!



Take care.
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Life is good!

Monday, June 25, 2007

O The Oprah Magazine

January 2007

So I don't buy O Magagine. Annick buys it and gives it to me when she's done. I think there are good positive articles in there but I'm just too cheap to get it. I have bought it a "few" times and passed it on to my friend. Believe me it hasn't happened too often.

In this issue, I read about Oprah's battle with the bulge. What it really boils down to; it has nothing to do with food, really it doesn't.
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She might be the most influential woman in American and no doubt the richest but she also has her own demons to deal with.
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Bob Greene is the one who helped her get a grip on what was going on. oh! and it's not about dieting, it's more a life plan. As his book title : Best Life Diet is really about common sense.
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A few quotes that truly stuck with me from the article : body wise
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"It took me a while to get to the turth. I didn't love food. I used food to numb my negative feelings." Been there, done that.
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"It all comes down to another question Bob asked me : "How much do you love yourself?"
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"I didn't want anyone to think I wasn't "nice," or worse, that "the money has gone to her head."
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"This too, I know for sure: Loving yourself means honoring yourself and your own feelings first." This passage HIT ME like a tonne of bricks!
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For the past ten years, I have NOT been honoring myself. I have accepted people into my life that had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the inner me. Why? All in the name of "in the mean time, till I find somebody for ME". How totally ignorant and stupid is that? Try to adapt to someone else's lifestyle and beliefs just for the sake of NOT always being alone. HA!
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I've been in the process of changing things around:
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a) Do you know why you want to make this change? Yes
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b) Can you explain the reson for the change? I need to get certain people out of my life for good. I'm tired of putting up with people who have nothing in common with the inner ME. Loving myself means honoring my own values first and not having to settle for anything less. Being alone is much better than having someone trying to convince me that their way is best! When their way is literally making me sick....
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c) If you've tried to make a change and failed, it's enourmously difficult not to skid back into disappointment and a box of Ring Dings. Instead of fighting or feeling your fear of failure, can you describe your worries. I have tried and tried, over and over again to get rid of certain people. I have failed a few times. I worry that I will let these people back in because I feel this need to please. I may be vulnerable at times and let them in again. Sometimes, I have the urge to forgive and forget. Forgive I can do, forget I just can't. I don't ever want to lose my self-respect, ever again. It's not worth it.
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I'm happy to say that I have been strong and those who have been poisoning my life for sooo long are still out. ;-) I can't have these three individuals (M,C,F) around me anymore. They are not "bad people", they are simply not for me.
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The clean up has been quite beneficial. Now, I just need to forgive myself for being so weak and giving so much control to others. Live and learn by these experiences. I can't change the past but I sure as hell can make better choices in the future. At least, that's the plan!! ;-)
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I see this time off work as a blessing. Sometimes, it's necessary to stop and examine what's really going on around you and make MAJOR changes.
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Life is great when we honor ourselves first! ;-)
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"We go on because it is the hard thing to do and we owe ourselves the difficulty." -- Nikki Giovanni
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"The opportunity to experience yourself differently is always available" --
Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche
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"We have to learn to let go of our past, we have to give up all hopes for a perfect past. Let the past go, it's gone." After that, he says, "Take a vow of kindness. Be kinder to yourself and to others. "It's never too late to be happy." Dr. Robert Holden

Friday, June 22, 2007

Le Commensal

Last Monday, I went to "Le Commensal"
with my friend Annick.
We absolutely love this veggie buffet.
The one we go to is in Laval near Montreal.
It's a 50-minute drive but it's worth the ride!
Anyways, put two yakky women in a car for 50 minutes and you can be sure that time flies! LOL

They have a wide variety of fantastic salads.



If you like hot veggie meals, you have lots to choose from. I rarely have the hot stuff because I just enjoy their salads sooo much. OOOhh I didn't notice that the lady was VERY pregnant!
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Great food for the baby too! LOL

ah well here is the main reason why I don't go to the hot buffet. Their desserts are absolutely AMAZING! I try not to go crazy but.. oufff not obvious.

I took like Annick. "Carré de rêves" Dreamy square..lol That's about it! This sinful dessert is filled with nuts and coconut. It resembles pecan pie.
The apple crunch is light and not too sweet. Just perfect!
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If you ever come across one of these restaurants, I strongly recommend you drop by!
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You won't be disappointed!
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Cross my heart..... wink
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Don't you think I have outstanding looking friends!
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Annick is a beautiful person, in & out. ;-)

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

My Dream House & Bug

This house is not too far from my place. It's actually in the next village.

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When I first moved here 9 years ago, I'd regularly ride my bike in front of this place. I find it sooo cute. I even stopped once and talked with the owners.
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My friend : Are you retarded? They are going to think that you are stalking them or somethig.
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Me: What's wrong wit telling people that I absolutely adore their house? But I would cut a few of those bushes. They hide the beauty of it all!
They didn't think I was stalking them but they started waving when I'd go by. ;-)
Now replace that ugly van with this cutie patooty and I'd be all set! LOL
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Ok I need to slack off on those pills, they are sending me over to goo goo land... ;-)
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Oh what the hell, nothing wrong with dreaming, right? ;-)

Monday, June 18, 2007

How couples meet...

I'm doing a little monkey see monkey do from Pam's post. Oh and for once, it's NOT about moi. Well not All of it. ;-)
This is my friend Nat. She met her husband Juan on an Internet site for Seventh Day Adventists. It was important for her to meet someone who shared the same faith. He is originally from Guatemala but lives in Kansas at the moment. This type of relationship has its trials. They had been chatting for about 2 months when they met last January and believe it or not he proposed to her and they married last March. He has come here a few times and she has been to his place where he shares a house with his parents. It's not easy to have to adapt to one person but having to adapt to the whole family who shares a different culture. Outch! Does this make us racist? I don't think so. He speaks Spanish & English. Nat speaks French & English. He will be coming here to live and will have to adapt and learn French. Is this complicated? Perhaps but you must admit, Nat looks absolutely radiant! Marriage suits her I suppose! ;-)

I fell in love with those eyes the first time I saw her.
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I went to get Nat at the airport yesterday. I brought my little bundle of joy with me.
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So I get into the airport and the place was packed full. Honey was so excited that she decided to take a dump in front of about hummmm let's say..200 people.... wink.. can you believe that this little face would do such I thing? Absolutely!
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People around had this disgusted look on. Please get over yourselves, it's only kiki after all. Common.
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You just gotta love her! aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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I'll definitely stick to dogs!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

How I feel about my friends...

'myspace

My friends mean a whole lot to me.

I would never stand by and watch anybody belittle them.

Silence speaks lounder than words.

'myspace

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Reality check, Good idea, Not well known

Oddly enough, I enjoy walking around cemeteries. Not at night, of course NOT but on a beautiful sunny day, Mount Royal Cemetery is quite peaceful. Obviously. I recommend you check out this cemetery, it's truly a beautiful place.
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I just find it interesting to read the names, nationalities, when they were born, died, etc. Some of those gravestones are outstanding and must cost quite a bundle! You have to wonder why pay so much money for this?
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Anyhow, last week I went to the notary's to make out my will. I had been thinking about donating my body to science and I just didn't know how to go about it.
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Do they use the whole body? Do they give it back to the family when they're done with it? Do I still need to think about a place to be buried? Can I still be put on display? NOT THAT I WOULD WANT TO! Just wondering.
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Everyone I talked to about it, really didn't know. They were all kinda guessing.
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Obviously, I thought the notary would know because he deals with this kind of stuff every day, right? When I told him about my wish to donate my body to science he took a step back and said "you are only the second person to ask me this" I was quite surprised by this. It's not like he's a young notary and I'm his 10th client or anything. Although, he did tell me where to write and it was quite simple. Here's how it works :
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In Québec, you can choose to donate your body to one of five facilities (mostly universities). I think it's great that our body can be part of enabling science to progress.
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Although, you can't be put on display if this is your wish.
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The University cremates the body when it's done with it.
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If you have a lot and wish to be buried in a specific place, your family must pay to transport the ashes to its final resting place. This is not my wish.
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When they will be done with my remains, my ashes will be buried with other people who have chosen to do the same, donate their bodies to science. I like that idea. I don't have a close family and I don't wish to buy a lot and be buried in a specific cemetery. The universities take care of everything and it's free. They even celebrate a mass once a year for these people. A mass was not part of my wishes but if my family and friends want to attend the mass at the university, it will be possible for them to do so. ;-)
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I don't see this as morbid. It's part of life and for me it's the only justice we have on earth. We're all going there, sooner or later. Rich, poor, ugly, beautiful, thin, fat, idiots and nice individuals alike.
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My grandma used to say that I was "an odd ball" ;-) "You always have to do things YOUR WAY. You can't do things like everybody else now can you?"
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Guess not... ;-)
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So now I have a card that resembles an organ donor card but for my body. ;-) I signed it and I just need to get two witnesses to sign it too. It's that simple!
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I'm going back to the notary's next week. I'll have a couple of things to teach him! HA!
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Life is good... ;-)

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Why I won't be going to goo goo land...

Just because


I aM a ReAlisT





You don't see the glass as half empty or half full. You see what's exactly in the glass.

You never try to make a bad situation seem better than it is...

But you also never sabotage any good things you have going on.

You are brutally honest in your assessments of situations - and this always seems to help you cope.

RiGhT oN!


Are You An Optimist or Pessimist?

Monday, June 11, 2007

Pressback Chairs and..

OK I absolutely love pressback chairs. I'm thinking of changing mine. When I bought this table 2 years ago in Epson, New Hampshire, I already had the chairs. So I bought the table hoping the chairs would fit.


The chairs are nice, there is no doubt about it and they match with the table. There is a slight problem, they are a little thight. But the pattern is quite beautiful even if the chairs are not that old. Probably the 70's.
Take a look at these beauties. They belong to my friend Francine. I have tried to convince her to sell two of them to me but has declined my request, wonder why??? She has told me that if she moves in two years, she might consider it. But being the spoilt brat that I am...wink, I certainly can't wait that long!!!!!
My summer projet will be to go around antique shops to try and find a couple of dainty pressbacks. They are smaller and not as bulky as mine.
Another pressback that I have in my living room. This type of chair is way to big to go with my table. But I like the style as well.


My friend Francine has a beautiful antique-style home. Check this out! She fixed it up herself. Don't you absolutely adore the colour??? When I go to her place, I spend my time drooling over her furniture. Everything looks so nice at her place!

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Remembering Lush

Dear Blessed,
Thank you so much for this lovely poem.

Your Pets In Heaven
by Ken D. Conover
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To have loved and then said farewell, is better than to have never loved at all. For all of the times that you have stooped and touched my head, fed me my favorite treat and returned the love that I so unconditionally gave to you. For the care that you gave to me so unselfishly. For all of these things I am grateful and thankful.
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I ask that you not grieve for the loss, but rejoice in the fact that we lived, loved and touched each others lives. My life was fuller because you were there, not as a master/owner, but as my FRIEND.
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Today I am as I was in my youth. The grass is always green, butterflies flit among the flowers and the Sun shines gently down upon all of God's creatures. I can run, jump, play and do all of the things that I did in my youth. There is no sickness, no aching joints and no regrets and no aging.
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We await the arrival of our lifelong companions and know that togetherness is forever. You live in our hearts as we do in yours. Companions such as you are so rare and unique. Don't hold the love that you have within yourself. Give it to another like me and then I will live forever. For love never really dies, and you are loved and missed as surely as we are.
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Your Luscious In Heaven

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Luscious aka Lush

I had to take a heart-breaking decision today. Luscious will be 14 next August and she hasn't been feeling very well lately. The summer heat and humidity have kicked in and she is having a very hard time. She goes into these chooking fits as if she's going to stop breathing. I hate seeing her like this. I live on the second floor and going up and down the stairs is painful for her. Moreover, it sends her into another chooking fit! I don't want her to spend the whole summer suffering. I will be going to the vet's today. This is extremely difficult for me.
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I'll be taking a break. Needless to tell you I'm not in a cheerful mood so I'll just stay away.
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Take care.
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It's over and she is finally at peace.
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Usually going to the vet's Lush resists and doesn't want to go in. Today she was very calm and sat quietly. I was with her the whole time, it was very important for me to be there for her. She has been a very good dog and I owed her that much. She fell asleep very peacefully.
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I can't even express how I'm feeling at the moment.. just empty...
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Pam, FAB, Nick, Paws, Snowball, Highwayman, Buffalodickdy, Blueberry, Drasch23, Evil Spock, Pissed off Patracia, Kara, Blessed... thankx for your kind words, they mean a lot. xxx
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Thank you to highwayman and nick for your beautiful tributes.
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When Nick had first posted this poem, it reminded me so much of Lush. I knew this is where we were headed.
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The Spirit Of A Dog
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I was standing on a hillside
In a field of blowing wheat,
And the spirit of a dog
Was lying at my feet.
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He looked at me with kind dark eyes,
Ancient wisdom shining through.
In the essence of his being,
I saw the love there too.
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His mind did lock upon my heart
As I stood there on that day,
And he told me of this story
About a place so far away.
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As I stood upon that hillside
In a field of blowing wheat,
In a twinkling of a second
His spirit left my feet.
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His tale did put my heart at ease,
All my fears did fade away
About what lay ahead of me
On another distant day.
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"I live among the spirits now
In the heavens of your mind,
So do not grieve for me, my friend
As I am with my kind.
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My collar is a rainbow's hue,
My leash is a shooting star.
My boundaries are the Milky Way
Where I sparkle from afar.
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There are no pens or kennels here
For I am not confined,
But I'm free to roam the heavens
Among the Doggie kind.
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I nap the day on a snowy cloud
Gentle breezes rocking me,
And dream the dreams of earthlings,
And how it used to be.
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The trees are full of liver treats,
And tennis balls abound,
And dog treats line the walkways
Just waiting to be found.
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There even is a ring set up,
The grass all lush and green;
And everyone who gaits around
Becomes the Best of Breed.
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For we're all winners in this place;
We have no faults, you see.
And the judge passes out those ribbons
To each one, even me.
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I drink from waters laced with gold,
My world a beauty to behold;
And wise old dogs do form my pride
To amble at my very side.
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At night I sleep in comfort's arms,
The stars protecting me,
And moonbeams dance about us
As stardust falls on thee.
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So when your life on earth is spent
And you stand at Heaven's gate,
Have no fear of loneliness--
For here, you know, I wait".
- author unknown -

Friday, May 25, 2007

Why get rid of Dandelions?

Yesterday's post about the SOB who killed a 15-year-old teen for walking across HIS lawn, got me thinking.
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Why do people want perfect looking grass? How stupid is that? Don't you have a life? You don't have anything better to do than sit around and watch your lawn?
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As a kid I would absolutely love the time of year when the dandelions were all over our front lawn. You can be sure that my aunt who lived up stairs would call the "grass man" and get the property sprayed. She used to say that those pesky flowers were soooo ugly! Nowadays, more and more people are aware that these sprays are toxic and go for the "good" natural sprays or just leave the grass as is. If you're not happy with the dandelions just pull them out, end of story.
Who hasn't done this as a kid? Moreover, did you know that the dandelion is one of nature's most beneficial herbs. So stop spraying them, will ya! Stop treating it like the enemy!

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Homemade ice cream for breakfast, huh?

I absolutely love this stuff.
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Cut up bananas and freeze them for at least 24 hours.
Put at least 3 big chunks in a food processor.
Blend.
Add a little bit of skim milk or soy.
Voilà!
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I like to add wheat germ, nuts, dried abricot, prunes, dates, muesli, etc. Just go with your heart's desire!
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Tastes great and good for ya!

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

The time has come...

Been thinking about it for quite some time. So might as well get it over with. It shouldn't be very complicated and I've been putting it off long enough.
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First, I sure as hell don't want to be put on display. Cremation is a possibility. Then again, science has put my body through hell and back so might as well give them the pleasure to continue doing their stuff. Probably the most simple thing to do.
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Second, I don't want a mass even if I was brought up a Catholic. Why should I when I've never been a good one anyway? To have a priest talk when he has no clue about me, doesn't seem to make much sense. My family will be very surprised by this.
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Third, dogs will probably be part of my life for a long time and if I have any when this day comes, I want them to be put to sleep and come join me. I don't want anybody caring for them but MOI.
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Fourth, I've asked two very good friends of mine to take care of things. I trust them and I want everything in order so it doesn't cause a burden on anyone. As my friend said "Knowing you, I'm sure you want things done exactly YOUR WAY" Well yeah.... ;-) now you get why I've asked you cause I know very well that you'll stick to MY wishes.
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Fifth, I certainly won't be leaving an Estate, so it should be pretty simple. I just don't want the wrong people putting their grubby little hands on something that they don't deserve and if my papers are NOT in order, well that's exactly what will happen. For me, principals rule, till the end.
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Sixth, get the name changed on my life insurance.
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Call notary and he/she should guide me through this I guess.

Monday, May 21, 2007

Why do parents do these things?

Urban Vegan suggested that we should have a meme on our baby pictures. I think it's a great idea. I'd love to see picts of you when you were kids. I've been having fun going through my past.

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I just need to question; "what the hell were my parents thinking?"
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Wouldn't you say that plopping a child on a dresser with a cat in one hand and a stuffed animal in the other dangerous business? What am I supposed to hold on to? I look so thrilled about it too..
Who in their right mind leaves a child put bath water in her mouth? This is really gross!
Favourite picture of all. It was taken with both my cousins Paul and Michel. Paul is the one holding my hand. But notice that he's barely touching my hand and look how he's clinging onto his brother's. He's practically standing on top of his brother and is not too sure if he wants to be standing next to this little girl. Look at his face, it's priceless. I love this picture because Paul passed away at the age of 8. I barely remember him but he is our angel watching over us. I'm just wondering why the person taking the picture would insist that he hold my hand. It's obvious that he was uncomfortable.. poor him! ;-)
I also like this one because my grandmother hand-knitted the dress. I just adored it! I loved wearing it. The problem is, she lent it to somebody in the family and it never came back. I'm disappointed because it would be a great souvenir for me to have.
This is what happens when you wake kids up at Christmas. Why? Why? Why? Couldn't this wait till morning? I guess not! Then parents wonder why children are cranky during the holidays.
No wonder!
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Ok, now it's your turn to share your childhood memories!
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Looking forward to it!

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Word to the great Francois Langur

Going from female to female is what it does. Luckily it knows just what type to choose. Those who share its "values" and idealism and who it thinks needs its services. But the females shouldn't ask too much from this species because its not capable of love, of course not! This is not part of the package deal. The females know it because it is oh! so honest and never EVER promises anything to any of them because it needs to be free. So if a female wants to be exclusive with it, well it was simply not part of the plan, and the females all know it!
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These females have to accept being a stand in or they do like it and go from male to male. Therefore, it must stick to its own kind otherwise it simply can't work out. Which is fine with the almighty. Just move on to the next , there will always be females who'll go along with it, for a while anyway.
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This great ape is not capable of any type of affection. Its job is to get a hard on and "pleasure" (so it thinks) the female then, the next day, be with another willing female.
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Thank you for showing me that I was never your kind and never will be. It has taught me that I deserve better and I'm worth much more than that. Isn't it wonderful that you're always such a great help to females.
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Life is good when we respect who we are. This is exactly what you and your kind do and what I'm doing now. Win win situation for eveyone.

Friday, May 18, 2007

The homeless with their dogs

For the longest time, I've been struggling about how to feel about the homeless. In Canada, everybody is illegible to Welfare as long as the person has a home address. Why wouldn't someone choose to live in a room instead of on the streets and begging? Are they metally ill and don't know what they're doing? If so, shouldn't the government see to these people if they are unable to do so? Do they choose this type of lifestyle? When I see a homeless person with a dog, that just sends me into a frenzy. You can't feed yourself and you have an animal? On a field trip to Montreal, I was going on and on about this and the spiritual adviser from school said "You know for some of these people, this is the only living thing that they have to love and care for ". Needless to tell you, it got to me. This is true but now I feel sorry for the person and the animal. What to do about these people? During the winter they sleep in the subway entrances and did you know that the cops give them tickets for being there, huh??? Why not go to a shelter??? Wouldn't that be better?

Ok, maybe not the homeless but dogs can be real pesty when they want something.
;-)


I absolutely adore this picture. Talk about self-sacrifice. See what I mean when we love our animals. Unconditional love at its best!!!! Although, I still struggle when a homeless person comes up to me for money. I still question but try not to get my pantyhoses into a bind when I see a homeless person with an animal.
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Because my friend with the voices is away, and he always has these great Friday posts, I tried to make my own little "monkey see monkey do" Friday post.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Down memory lane part II

Today's post is to show that as we get older some things do indeed change but deep down that little person is still around. Nah..the real reason is that I got this new scanner and I'm just having fun trying it out!
As you can see here, dogs have been part of my life for a long time. To this day, I'm still not that keen on German Shepherds. Moreover, crying and having a little fit from time to time is still part of my life.



Here I'm starting to like the little furry things. My hair pretty much looks the same.

Yet another dog but this time no way am I going to touch it! My mom said that she tried and tried to get me to pat it but I was just grossed out about it! That hasn't changed, you're just not going to get me to put my hands on just anything. I'm still quite fussy! Look at those cheeks! They are still around and I've been blaming prednisone for them all this time!
Cats were part of my life back then. Unfortunately, I became allergic. I wonder how that happened? Bikinis are no longer part of my life because you see those little muffin tops that are rolling over on top of each other, well they're still around unfortunately. Isn't it great being a kid and feeling good about ourselves and not having to worry about a little..cough.... love handles!
Stuck on Grandma. To the day she died, I always sat on her lap. At one point I moved onto the arm of the chair but you can be sure I needed to be close by.
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Ice cream, I still enjoy but I can tell you that I would never ever wear a monokini ever again. Those are out!
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As you can see, we don't really change!

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

How Denis came into my life

May 14, 1995 on Mother's Day is when I got the call. After 17 years of dialysis and 2 failed kidney transplants, I had stopped thinking that a transplant was meant for me. Moreover, dialysis was part of my life and I didn't think that it was all that bad. Anyhow, I didn't remember life without it. I must say that 12 years ago, things were not going so well and I needed a change. What a change! My friend Chantal let me have her Garfield for comfort. He went everywhere with me. ;-)
These two nurses got me through so much. Doris and Louise. It was so strange. As soon as 4 o'clock rolled around, I'd start perking up because I knew they'd be coming in.


When this picture was taken, I remember we (well I was laughing so much) that a doctor told us that we had to keep it down. I got that a few times. Because of the meds, very often I would be up at night, so another patient and I would play cards. I'd go to his room and say "hey, wanna play strip poker, wink" How many times did I get dirty looks and people telling me not to laugh so loud. It's a good thing that I did laugh because sometimes I was so stressed and worried that I thought I'd go crazy! I'll never forget when Doris told me "you know, it can't always go badly. It's not because the first two didn't work that this one won't". I was stressed out because the kidney was slow to take (I would joke, that he "Denis" was having a hard time adjusting to being in a woman's body) I had to go back on dialysis for a while because the kidney just wasn't working at first. I was TOTALLY freaking out because this was the last chance for me. One doctor had told me that my insides were just.. hummmm how should I put this... shot to hell. Therefore, it would have been hard to even think of a 4th transplant. Some doctors have such great bedside manners. Oh! well, how else was he supposed to tell me?
Louise one of the great nurses who made my stay so much easier. The famous piss pot that we had to go in to make sure the kidney was working properly. On the wall behind us, are the pictures of "my men". Louise and Doris would cut out hunky men from magazines and stick them on my wall for good luck! LOL


My life-long friends. As I have told you many many times, they have always stood by me through thick and thin. I don't know if this would be considered the thick or the thin. Regardless, they'd drive 1 hour 30 mins to come visit me. The guy standing behind me with the glasses received his kidney on the May 15th. When we started getting better he told me that after seeing me coming up from the operation room he was about to change his mind. I must have looked like hell for him to want to forget about the whole thing. LOL Him and I would have competitions with the piss pots. One night before going to bed he said that he'd have to catch up while I was asleep. To this day I still think he cheated!! His mother was so pissed when my friends came and we all went out to McDonalds!! LOL I'm not too sure what she was worried about. Don't we look normal... cough...... to you?
This is Denis. The man who changed my life and for whom organ donation was such a beautiful gift to offer. I met his family but I must say this is highly unusual and it's actually not recommended for many reasons. When I received the transplant I only knew that it was from a 34-year-old man. I remember hoping that he was a hells angels, without children and how I wished his family was not missing him. I felt this huge sense of guilt when I thought about them.
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As I mentioned before, the kidney just wasnt't working even with all the drugs I was taking. Check out the cheeks and you know that I was on high dosage of prednisone. I had a whole community of nuns back home praying for me but still zip nothing. Science & God were just not cutting it! One evening, I asked Doris to tell me "his name". Needless to say, they are not supposed to give us this information but as I said, these nurses were just wonderful to me. Well believe it or not, I started talking to Denis :
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"Ok listen. I know that you're having a hard time adjusting to me, but don't think that I'm all that thrilled about having you either. But I'm counting on us to get through this because I just don't want to go back to the way my life was before. So could we just calm down and get through this ... please."
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I would talk to him all the time. I know, pretty creepy but we did finally make it. Was it science? Was it the prayers? Was it the talking to him? Who knows? Bottom line, it's been 12 years. I'm sure the doctors were taking the credit, I'm sure the nuns were praising God, I'm just thankful that Denis decided to stick around. ;-)
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When I met his mom, she told me that she had spent the evening talking to Denis and asking him to give her strength not to break down when she met me. I told her that he wasn't getting much peace because I kept talking to him too. The meeting went very well. During supper, I asked the family if Denis liked coffee because since my transplant I started drinking it a lot more compared to before. A moment of silence and everyone bursted out laughing. Apparently he used to drink about 10 cups a day. Luckily I drink only 1 or 2. ;-)
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I did find out that he had taken his own life. His wife had just left him and he couldn't accept being seperated from his kids. So he indeed had children and a family who missed him very much. It was difficult for me when I found out. This is one of the reasons why we're not supposed to meet with our donor family. I read the letter that he had left and his family respected his decision.
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After meeting with the family, I had a lot of mixed emotions and my mom told me that Denis had chosen the right person to respect him and his choice. How could I not after that?
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I don't see Denis' family anymore. They were very kind when we met but for many different reasons, I think it's best like this.
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Thankx to him I'm peeing again, and NO I don't pee standing up! ;-)
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HEY.. LIFE IS GOOD!
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Merci Denis, continuons notre belle route ensemble.....

Monday, May 14, 2007

Happy 12th Anniversary with "Denis"

Two summers ago, I was lucky enough to have this 1987 Volkswagen convertible for a couple of months. It was an awesome little car to drive. It actually belonged to my friend Ginette, who is on the picture. We had great times driving up to Burlington Vermont, top down and enjoying the sun! ;-) Great memories that I will always cherish.

Coming back from the Shrine yesterday, I saw a Westfalia just like this. Same exact colour. The green was so ugly that it made it look charming. I was thinking, how cool it would be to have one and get away with the girls. I was going to scan picts of my life-changing moment 12 years ago but the scanner at my friend's is broken so no-can-do. Maybe I'll go check out the scanners today and blog about "Denis" later.

wow! I didn't know we could put so much stuff in there. Even as a kid I liked these little vans. It would be just the right size for me and the girls. ;-) They must be fun to drive too!
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I need to win the lottery! LOL
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Oh! well, it's nice to dream...
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It's a great day today, Life is good!